My Supports

Family
The support system I have within my family is what keeps me going each day! My mother lives with me because of her disability, but she is a big support to me emotionally and physically. She is always available to listen and give advice. She also helps with housework and watching my husband when I have responsibilties. My children also provide emotional support by listening and being very intuned to when I need a hug or just to be left alone for a little bit. My sisters and brother are a support because they are often available to give someone a ride when needed. This sounds like a small thing but whoever thinks that has not tried to be in two places at once. Take my word for it, it is impossible!
Before his downfall I would have said that my husband was my greatest support. He is a wonderful man who I could share anything with and he would not judge or try to change me. He was very good at letting me cry on his shoulder, literally. He also supported me by helping with my children. His relationship with them took the place of their father not being in the picture. This type of support is crucial to a single mother. I believe his illness has had an extreme affect on them because they miss the commraderie.
Friends
I have a wonderful group of friends that are very supportive! They have seen me through a divorce, a grandbaby too early, and a new marriage. They have been available to help physically and emotionally when I need them. I often hear people say that you can pick your friends, not your family. I believe I have the best of both worlds!

Imaginary Challenge
If I were to face a disability that would make me unable to do all the things that I do today I know that I would be able to count on my family and friends to help. Without them I don't know how my husband would be taken care of, my children would get where they need to go, my house would be kept up, or how we would support ourselves monetarily. I am very lucky to have such a big circle of support!

Relationship Reflection

My relationship with my husband is central to my happiness with life. We both had previous bad marriages and were scared to trust anyone else. It took four years of being together before we decided that we wanted to take the step of gettting married. This picture is us at our wedding in July 2010. Since that time our relationship has been tested extremely. The main issue has been his health. He took a turn for the worse in May and has not been home since. He is currently in a nursing home 30 miles from our house. He went through a month were he did not know where he was and his memories were mixed up. He could not remember from day to day what had happened. He was confused and hallucinating. That month seemed to last years to me. I spend everyday balancing my children, work and going to see him in the home. This past week his memory has improved significantly. He knows the date and can remember things from day to day.

I feel that adversity happens sometimes to help us realize the love that we have for another person.

This is a picture of the girls who are important in my life. From left to right the first three are my sisters and the next three are my daughters. These ladies all have very distinct personalities and all play a very important role in my life defining who I am. We have a very close knit family. It is very common for us to do things together from doctors appointments to playing in a softball league. Many people think that we are strange because we enjoy to do things together. Often we have heard people say that they only go to family functions because they have to and choose not to spend addtional time with their family members. Growing up our extended family made it a point to barbecue every Sunday. I think that this is the example we follow.

This is my brother and my son. These are the two most important guys in my life, other than my husband. My brother and I can spend hours talking and never run out of things to say. We both teach at the same school. Our classrooms are next door to each other. We value the same things in life such as hard work, honesty, and making a difference in the life of a child.

My son is the baby of the family but you would never know it by how mature he is. He is a very hard worker and a giving person. Even though he has faced extreme adversity in his life, he has really grown to be a great guy. I look forward to the future when he will have a family of his own.

This is my grandson who stole my heart the second he was born. The instant love is impossible to explain.

This is me and my nieces. The relationship with them is great because it is all about having fun.

Reflection

If the child is not learning the way you are teaching, then you must teach in the way the child learns" - Rita Dunn

This quote exemplifies the major belief I have about education. A reform in our educational system is needed to happen in order for teachers to have the freedom and training to teach the way children learn. I plan to be part of that reform by being in my own community. I am determined to change the way our education system is set up. If we have a small group of people in each community affect this change, I believe it will grow and change our country!

I am very pleased that the courses at Walden encourage this type of thinking. In both of my classes I have been encouraged to look at things from a different perspective and to think outside of the box! I look forward to what I will learn in the future!

Intelligence Testing

Having been a middle school teacher for the last four years I am firmly opposed to studetns taking one test a year to determine their knowledge learned, intelligence, and chance for success in school. The standardized test in Texas is called the TAKS test. Teachers are given a list of TEKS to teach and are basically left in the dark on what the content of the test will be. A small group of people take these TEKS and manipulate the information into, sometimes, tricky questions. This is directly contradictory to the way I was taught that teaching and testing should take place. Harry Wong states "The test should not be a mystery." I feel the standardized testing has just become a tool to find the best 'test takers' instead of a tool to measure intelligence. This system leaves out a very large group of intelligent people who are not being service in our school system.
In my classroom I use a questionnaire, observation and testing to find out each students strengths. I look to Howard Gardner's theory of multiple intelligences to design lessons that meet the learning needs of all students. I then give students a choice of assignments. This way students are able to learn and show mastery in a way that is best for them.
Our system may be better than Germany where it is decided which path a child will take by the time he/she is 10 years old. In the younger grades students are evaluated to decide which one of four types of schools that they will enter. This puts them on a track that determines which type of school they can next enter, and finally, weather they will go to a university or enter a technical field or trade.

Sources:
The Effective Teacher video series by Harry Wong, 1998

http://library.thinkquest.org/26576/schoolpage.htm

Poverty and It's Effects

I had a student the last three years who lived in poverty. When this child came to us in the sixth grade she seemed to be adjusting well to her situation. She always had a smile on her face and tried to see the good in all things that happened. At the end of sixth grade year she showed extreme remorse at having to go home for the summer. When school started again she returned with a sullen attitude that could be picked up only occasionally. She continued to be a good student academically but she always seemed to have a new injury that required crutches. We, the teachers, did not know if these injuries were real or used as a method for getting attention. During the seventh grade Child Protective Service was called to her home on several occasions and her two older sisters were removed from the home. She became very withdrawn after this happened. She often asked why she was left in the home and wrote a letter to one of the other teachers describing the abuse she was enduring. This information was turned over to CPS, but alas it was summer again and the case did not lead to removal from the home yet. Eighth grade year begins with a very withdraw child who discusses hurting herself to end her misery. She blames some of the teachers for 'leaving' her in her home. She is very distrustful and does not care about school at all. She tries to fix her problem by running away. Finally, after several attempts and more reports, she is removed from her home and placed with an older sibling. This does not help because the sibling is very abusive also. November of this year this girl is removed completely from her family and placed into foster care. I have not been given her new address or an email to contact her, all I know is that she is in another state. All I can do is pray for her healing and hope that she is in a stable environment with a family that can bring back that fun loving child I knew in sixth grade.
This child went through stages of coping. At first I believe she was in denial. She acted like the abuse she endured was not that bad and covered her feelings with smiles. Second, she tried to get attention from adults in the school with her injuries. She would say that she hurt herself but her declarations were not believable. Third, when she felt she had built a relationship, she tried to reach out for help. When the help she expected did not happen she became distrustful and withdrawn. Her final step was to run away enough times that someone would listen to her.
Every child and every situation is different. All children use some sort of coping mechanism for the things that are uncomfortable to them.
While researching the effect of poverty on the well being of children in Ireland I found the following description of the four aspects of poverty:

1. Home life is a measure of the child’s relationship with her/his parents:

• how much children talk to their parents;

• how much control parents exercise over TV;

• how much the family shares meals together.

2. Educational orientation is a measure of how well the child is doing at school:

• how much the child likes her/his teachers;

• whether the teachers ‘get at me’;

• general feelings about school;

• whether the child is doing well at school.

3.  Low self-worth is a measure of the child’s psychological health:

• whether the child feels unhappy;

• whether the child has lost sleep;

• how useless the child feels;

• how much of a failure the child feels;

• whether the child feels no good;

• the extent to which the child feels lonely;

• the extent to which the child is left out of activities.

4. Risky behaviour is an attempt to measure aspects of risk-taking or anti-social behaviour:

• whether the child has ever been suspended from school;

• how often the child plays truant;

• how much experience the child has with smoking cigarettes;

• whether the child vandalises property;

• whether the child has friends who use illegal drugs (there is no direct question about the respondent's own drug use)

The book is focused on child poverty in Ireland, but the interconnection between these four areas are true of poverty anywhere. Many people only think of low income when they think of a family in poverty, but poverty is mulifaceted. Many families do not have money, but are not living in poverty.

Source:
http://www.cpag.org.uk/publications/extracts/coping_with_complexity.pdf

Breastfeeding: Yes it is that important!

There is a controversy in our society about the importance of breastfeeding. Usually when a person takes a side on breastfeeding it is very difficult to persuade them to change their minds. One side argues the benefits to both baby and mother. The other side argues about the adequate nutrition that is provided in synthetic formula. The reasons for being on either side are varied. My position on this topic is that breastfeeding is important for the baby and mother. Some of the benefits for babies include, antibodies that protect from infection, the perfect nutritional balance, enhanced brain development,  and less upset stomach because breast milk is easy to digest. Benefits for the mother include, losing weight, helping uterus returning to size, saving money and time, and increased bonding with the baby.

In Kenya it is expected that mothers breastfeed unless they have medical restrictions. Women who choose not to breastfeed are looked down upon and breastfeeding in public is an accepted practice. The professionals who advocate for breastfeeding in Kenya believe that the most important benefits are brain development and sound nutrition.

Childbirth: Beautiful even when not planned

The birth of my grandson is a bittersweet story. My family is very blessed to have such a beautiful sweet child. In the beginning we didn't necessarily think that was the case. See, my daughter (Kelci) was fifteen when she got pregnant. This is a picture of her at her first sonogram.

After coming to terms of having a pregnant teen daughter which, by the way seems to be the accepted thing these days , I began accepting the idea that I would be a grandma at 40!

Throughout her pregnancy Kelci had to overcome many adversities. During her 4th month she was in a car accident and while at the emergency room a spot was found on her uterus. This led to many tests to determine the cause. During her 6th month she contracted a severe kidney infection which caused preterm contractions. She spent a week in the hospital fighting that infection. One month later she was back in the hospital with preterm labor again. When she was sent home she was put on bed rest! She was able to hold on one more month and was back in the hospital. When she was sent home her doctor determined that the repeated bouts of preterm labor was putting too much stress on the baby. So, a week later when she went into labor again he decided to perform a c-section. On September 21 Shawn Patrick was born and forever changed all of our lives.

This is a picture of baby Shawn, his father and me just minutes afer he was born.

Pregnancy and childbirth in Mexico has some interesting traditions and rituals.

During pregnancy it is expected that women avoid death related events and stay away from extreme heat and cold. During childbirth it is seen as important to keep doors and windows closed to keep out evil forces. It is also seen as a weakness if the woman cries out so she tries to keep quiet in order to avoid being made fun of.  During childbirth, it is thought that the woman’s womb loses heat and her ovaries and genitals soften, never returning to their original position. To prevent this, some traditional midwives place themselves between the woman’s legs at the moment she is giving birth, to help keep the heat in and curses out. Immediately after childbirth it is tradition to place the umbilical cord around the baby's neck and a 40-day period of caring for the mother and child is considered essential for the prevention of diseases and complications.